Child-like Hands and Feet

I was wearing a red leotard with small white stars that looked like polka dots from far away. Gripping the edge of the floor mat with my toes, I’m not sure if it was nervousness or an attempt to muster up all the confidence in my eleven-year-old body for the challenge ahead. I looked over at the panel of judges with sheets of scoring sheets—their eyes glaring at me from their brown rimmed glasses. Alexa—my gymnastics coach sat on side, caught my eye, smiled at me confidently, and gave me her nod that meant, “Whenever you are ready Cristina.”
I started my long-rehearsed routine with summersaults and jumps, and sharp spins and twirls with my feet. My small, childlike hands and feet.


I finished and saluted like the gymnasts I have watched so many times in the Olympics, glancing one last time at Alexa, she gave me a thumbs up. Satisfied, I walked off the mat to take my place and hear the judge’s verdict. A second-place blue ribbon was pinned on my shirt and my arms were filled with stuffed animals, candy, and coupons for free burgers and McDonalds.
Sometimes I still feel like my spiritual hands and feet are small. Childlike. Those are the times I realize that I might always be childlike is my ways. And God will always have to smile, nod reassuringly and say, “Whenever you are ready Cristina.”


Do you ever long to do something more. Or maybe we did it in the past and we long for that again. Kind of how I feel about gymnastics, although I think my body would rebel at the thought now. We see others around us, with that sparkle in their eyes, and we long to have it.

I want to be the skater.

I want to be the twirler.

I want to be the glider.

I want to be the world changer.

So, together, God and I have decided to change the world. A lot of lovers make these kinds of promises of changing the world, but how many ever do it?

God and I…we’re going to change the world! And I mean this seriously. Give it all, until I don’t have anymore, then He can pick up the torch and carry me further.

I was thinking about my life. I was thinking about writing another book. I was thinking about learning how to play the guitar well. Become a better photographer, a better cook! My thoughts were along these lines: Maybe when I’m older. Or later. Or something. But then I won’t have time. Then I’ll have dishes to wash, children to tuck in bed, and laundry to fold. I won’t have time to be a photographer. Write a book. Sing. Act.

I want to do EVERYTHING God wants me to do, and be GREAT. If all God calls me to is be a mom, or take care of children for the rest of my life…that will be great. SO great I get excited just thinking about it! But for now He has called me to be single, living in Mexico, working with girls, and that is great, SO great!

Then the thought came: But don’t waste today.

So we're starting today. Jesus and I. We’re a team, I’m His daughter, friend and beloved…and He’ll provide energy and strength for me. He and I, together we’ll change the world. So, come, join us on the challenge. Dust of your gear and come do something great.

Photography Scavenger Hunt

Hi! Here is my Advanced Excell assignment of the Photography Scavenger Hunt. The following pictures were taken with a Sony Alpha X-200.

Vanishing Point: This picture is of my brother Judah looking out over a rail. This is located at a central point in the city called "El Obispado" where flown is a national flag of Mexico the size of a football field.

Broken: This is a sad picture for me because the other day I was wearing these favorite sunglasses, I saw the chip in the top and realized they must have falled down from my shelf to have broken like that. And they were my favorite! ::Snif snif::

Time: I chose this picture to portray time because I thought it branched out from your typical clock/watch fotos. This chart is located in my classroom where I work at school and is the scheduled with the times for each subject my kids learn.

Temperature: This picture demonstrates the main two global signs for tempreature being the Celcius and Fahrenheit. I always get confused as to which one is Mexico's and the USA's!

Stapler: I am very proud of my close-up shot of such a classy and sofisticated object. This stapler is one of many found in my classroom at the Kindergarten school I teach.

Squirrel: (Because squirrels are non-existent here in Mexico, really there aren't any, Grace gave me permission to just pick "something furry"). Daphne is one of the puppies our dog Meesha had recently. Isn't she a cutie? Here she is dolled up in Russian "babushka" attire.

Self Portrait: Here is my attempt at a self portrait. As you can see, I am not very good at these although my brother is a pro (practice makes perfect ;). Reflections: Judah is walking down a dock-like area downtown called "Paseo de Sta. Lucia." It is a new place they built here in Mexico to look like San Antonio's Riverwalk (a copout).

Police: This was as close as I got to taking police pictures. To be quite honest, the police here are as corrupt as the crooks and most of them are crooks seeking to learn the ways of the government, or seeking to join the ranks (so they have men on both sides) and their corruption can be more widespead.

Police2: and one more police picture. This is located at a park near my house. I go jogging here with my Dad as often as I can and I'm not quite sure why they have a small police quarters there but I think they are supposed to be looking out for the neighborhood. (As I took these pictures they kept glaring at me like "What are you taking those for?" as I nonchalantly got down on the ground to take a picture of a sparrrow and some trees (so as to calm all suspicions). I think they decided I was a freak of a tourist.

Music: My little sister (who owns this camara) was practicing her violin when I was on this scavenger hunt, so I though "Aha! Music!"

Memorable Moment: This is a picture that might mean nothing to the common man yet brings a smile to my face when I see it because it's the birthday party of one of the girls in our youth group. We played games and made up "punishments" for those who lost. Here the punishment is eating a whole jalapeno raw (the other alternative was eating a raw onion).

Making A Statement: This scene is one I drove past with my Dad on our way to a pastor's meeting far out in a poor town. It really made an impact on me because these people were lining the streets selling used clothing and other wares for very cheap. It was beautiful to see them diligently working with what little they had and sitting through the hot sun, when I sometimes complain about working in an air-conditioned room in nicer conditions.

Leap: My sister is leaping through the air! There was just no other way I could think of portraying this one. This was probably her 15th jump and her feet were getting pretty bruised, so its as good a shot as I could get.

Green: This sweet girl came over to our house one day and I spotted this VERY green volkswagen buggy and I just HAD to do something with it! I love its rich color and contrast with pink shirt and blue jeans. Just a casual portrait yet so full of life.

Funny: My girlies! These are my three little stinkers who I attempt to teach math and science to, yet they would much rather make funny faces at my camara. They do this all by themselves too! The ringleader (girl on the far right) would say "Make funny face now!" and all the girls would start being silly and doing...exactly what they're doing in the picture!

Fear: I would have liked a close-up shot of my face here portraying fear (and I know shots of yourself probably don't count) but I set this picture up myself with the idea that my expression would portray fear in the midst of my surroundings (broken down walls; kind of caged in).

My Favorite thing: Here is a picture that just makes my heart burst because it is overlooking the whole city of Monterrey (well a portion, you need to do a 365 fisheye lens if you want to get the whole picture). This picture is a favorite of mine because when I look out on this sea of buildings I see an even greater sea of people and more specifically people God has called my family to serve and give our lives for while we are here in Mexico. I don't know how much longer we will be here, but I want to make the most of every day to be spent for the spreading of the gospel here so that those in darkness can come into marvelous light.

The bird in the above picture was flying in the same spot for at least 5 minutes, maintaining its wings still and being upheld by the wind currents. It was so fascinating to watch and reminded me of all the times in scripture where God tells us to learn from the birds, how He provides for them, how they live so carefree, and learn to fly above their circumstances.

Date: Today's date on my classroom whiteboard. Something I do every morning is to write down the date so my kids can copy it onto their notebooks. I was trying to get the glare off the picture but was not really sure what setting to put it on so it would do that.

Coffee: Liquid Happinessss. And our coffee maker is actually bilingual! For some reason the instructions are longer in Spanish than in English. More explanation neede probably. Beside it is my favorite mug--bought my self as a gift to my self on Christmas day. If you look closely you will see it has tiny sparkles (the only Starbucks mug I've ever seen with sparkels and I just HAD to have it!)

White Trash: This photo was kind of awkward to take. I got plenty of great stares. Thank God for a lens that can zoom in so you really don't have to be that close. People use styrophoam a lot here so most of the trash is white. Interesting cultural fact there.

Tool: I was about to take a picture of my Dad's machete, but opted on a more sofisticated tool as seen in the above photo. Trying to find a creative way to capture this was...interesting to say the least. So that's just that. A tool.

THE END.

Crayons, scratched knees, and eternal impacts.

Today I tied several tennis shoes, patched up several scratched knees on the playground (kisses and bandaids work wonders!), placed patty-cake, and cut lots of paper money for Math class, and tried to convince my darling kiddos from the Euro school that eating crayons is just not good for your health!

I got a sub-teaching job there and I'm loving it!! Its pretty much a dream job because they just call me up whenever a teacher can't go to school, so I just fill in with her assistant to the 2nd teacher (there are 2 per classroom). Since I am a sub-teacher, I really don't do anything other than take them from Spanish class, to recess, to lunch, to Math class, to computers, to painting, to daycare, etc. And I get paid for it!

I love to eavesdrop on the girls when they are playing together in little circles. Depending on what ages they are, their conversations on the playground vary... :)

Also when they call me up I can decide if I want/can/feel like going to work that day and then say yes or no. Its really great! Of course, I usually say yes (unless I'll be on a trip or something)! This is one of the most expensive schools here in Monterrey so everything is in English and these kids are wow--part of the small subculture, a bubble of people rolling in the dough of Mexico. (I've about decided Mexico is devided into a medium-sized high class, a small middle class, and a large low class population). I'm usually subbing for a teacher who has gone to Paris or NYC for the week. The cool thing is that everything in this school is done in English, so I get to speak English all day!

Allow me to introduce to you my favorites! (a.k.a. teacher's pets, JK, just some who have stole my heart!) I don't even remember their names (I think I have short term memory loss), since I get a different group of kids each time, I only remember the names of the kids of the kids I'm currently teaching!

They love making crazy faces for the camara!

This girl is one of the sweetest, nicest Pre-Kindergarteners I've ever met (it's scary)! She never does anything she isn't supposed to, she is always sweet and mannerly and obedient. She is never mean to the other kids no matter what they do to her. She never raises her voice, never spills food in recess, always finishes her projects on time, never complains about anything, is super laid back and flexible...she's an angel!

Now here is another one of my students, and this girl...she is the cutest thing in the whole world, just makes me want to hug her and kiss her and hold her! She is super inteligent (too smart for her britches), she is a leader (she always takes the initiative to get everyone riled up for the cause, BUT...she is so mischevious! SO mischevious! But because she is so cute, it so easy to overlook her naughtiness and just let it go! I would have a hard time parenting her! I love to watch her interact with the other kids--she is such a little adult, with a mind of her own!

Look at that little face!

Also when they call me up I can decide if I want/can/feel like going to work that day and then say yes or no. Its really great! Of course, I usually say yes (unless I'll be on a trip or something)! This is one of the most expensive schools here in Monterrey so everything is in English and these kids are wow--part of the small subculture, a bubble of people rolling in the dough of Mexico. (I've about decided Mexico is devided into a medium-sized high class, a small middle class, and a large low class population). I'm usually subbing for a teacher who has gone to Paris or NYC for the week.

The proud Miss Cristina

God Speaks Russian.

God speaks Russian. Did you ever think of that fact? God laid that on my heart as I stood beside a beautiful Russian babushka in church. It was Sunday morning and I found myself standing by someone’s Russian grandma trying to sing Russian words I couldn’t even read on a page. She kept showing me the lines where everyone sang, and I could even say I “ya nie panie mayu” meaning “I don’t understand.” And then God told me “I do.” Wow. For some reason I thought God spoke English. Well English and Spanish.

I was talking to a friend of mine back in the United States and realized the places I had gone and things I had done, people I had seen since the last time I saw him and he is still selling pizza. Since the last time I saw him, he said, “I have an apartment, a car, money, everything I need to live a comfortable life.” And then he said something I will never forget, “I am living the American dream and I hate it.” He continues to sell pizza. Not that that is not a glorious job or anything, but he would be the first to tell you “that’s not what I was made for.” This is not what he dreamed of doing all his life. Do what you love and love what you do. It reminds me of a song that says, “This ain’t my American dream. I want to live and die for bigger things.”

If God speaks Russian, then I want to too. Because God loves the Russian people and if there is anything I can do to help them know Him better, then I will give the rest of my life to do that.

"When the Father Says I Love You"

It was Labor Day weekend and I was at the Northwoods in Michigan having an absolute blast!!

Have you ever gone somewhere far away from city lights and noise and city scum, and just bask in the awesomeness of the sky, stars, etc. The Northwoods is God’s country right there. I think the garden of Eden must have been there.

My last night in Northwoods, I dragged my mattress outside on the balcony and brought out my blankets and pillows. It was a quiet, clear night as I lay on my back looking up at the stars. The moonlight reflected on the water. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I looked up at the myriad of stars. Wow had I forgotten there were so many up there! I could even see the edge of the Milky Way galaxy!!

Earlier that evening, a group of us had run outside to see the Northern lights. I had not gotten to see the shooting start that everyone was exclaiming at so that night as I lay there alone I said to God “Show me a shooting star.” I looked up at the sky for a few minutes and in the next split second, a shooting star flew by. Wow that was beautiful! “Let me see another one, one more God…” I said. A few more minutes and there it went—another shooting star! This was fun. So personal. It was magical. As if scripted for my heart. God knows what takes your breath away, what makes your heart beat faster.

Then in the quiet of my spirit I felt God say, “Cristina remember what you asked me for when you were 15?” I smiled. “Yeah I remember.” I was out in the mountains doing mission work with my family. At night I was watching the stars and I asked Him for two things. I said ‘God do you see all those stars in the sky? That’s how many people I want to impact for You. That’s how many people I want to take with me to Heaven when I go. But one more thing I ask, give me the boldness of a lion so that I can open my mouth and You can use me.’”

A few months later, right after my birthday, I was sitting in my room looking for another book in the Bible to start reading, when the thought came: Deuteronomy. I thought, well heck if I’m going to do Old Testament, I might as well start from the beginning. But again came the thought: Deuteronomy. So I started from chapter one. I hadn’t gotten far into Chapter One when verse 10 popped out at me: “The Lord your God hath multiplied you, and, behold, ye are this day as the stars of heaven for multitude.” Stars? “the stars of heaven for a multitude…” But it gets better: v.11 “(The Lord God of your fathers make you a thousand times so more as ye are, and bless you, as he hath promised you!”) Wow. That’s one massive promise.

I had to re-read those two verses quite a few times before I fully grasped their meaning. I don’t think I’ve fully gotten it yet. But that will be my verse for the year, and my whole life. Until the Kingdom of God to begins to break through a time-space world, and the darkness can be broken over the eyes of men. God wants to put us in strategic places where we can influence the nations. And what a special privilege that God would call us to take His glory to the world.

Finding Absolute Joy in Times of Despair

Wow so I come back from this mountaintop experience with God and BOOM it’s like all hell fire unleashes! At first I couldn’t quite put my finger on the reason, then God showed me that the eyes of my heart were delighting in something (someone!) else and He didn’t have 100% of my heart. He wants 100% of your heart, not 99%! Have you ever thought of that? Because He is a jealous God and all competing affections must go, and painful as it may be, in his perfect wisdom and mercy He will do whatever it takes to remove them.

Elizabeth Elliot once said, “Turn your loneliness into solitude and your solitude into prayer.” Ok! I’m a pretty happy person but when I do get hit with discouragement or loneliness (yes I am human :) I think of what she said and take it as a special call from God that He wants to spend extra time with me. Yesterday and today I have spent every moment I possibly can saturating myself in the scriptures and prayer like my life depends on it. Because it does. Right now it really does.

Life was so much simpler when I was a child. I long for the days when my greatest decisions were which doll I would play with next or how I would manage to get out of doing Math for the morning. The days when my greatest worry was that the ice cream truck would not come by and my greatest fears that my pet hamster would die like all the others did, or my hair would not curl right even though I slept in the sponge rollers all night!

Yesterday morning and said, “God I’m going to need some extra encouragement from You today, will you love me today in a special way?”

I opened Psalm 4 and read, “Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress…But know that the LORD hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the LORD will hear when I call unto him... put your trust in the LORD. There be many that say, Who will show us any good? LORD, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon us. Thou hast put gladness in my heart…”

My mom brought in a stack of letters for me in the mail we picked up at the border. The first letter I opened was from a girl I had met and corresponded with years ago. The date of the letter was March 5, 2005. 2005! I know sending mail to the missionaries can take a while, but 3 years?! Well I opened it and read the first few lines and it might has well have been God’s own handwriting in His words to me! As if every single line was scripted specially for my heart. And she even said, “I don’t know if you have graduated from college yet, but here are words of blessing for your life…” And on it read, “I will be your God…abundantly bless you…love you freely…strengthen you…ransom you…be with you…I will never leave you or forsake you.” That’s earth shattering truth for me! Get this, if I had received that letter in 2005 when it was written and sent, the words might not mean what they do now, I had not even graduated yet! But today I just graduated. Today I needed that. Today.

“I am love by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing.”

I want to live and die for something greater.

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend of mine in another part of the United States and I began to realize the places I had gone and things I had done, people I had seen since the last time I saw him. He sells pizza. That’s what he was doing last time we talked. That’s all he’s planning on doing for now. (Until what happens?)

Since the last time I saw him, he said to me, “I have an apartment, a car, money, everything I need to live a comfortable life.” Then he said something I will never forget, he said, “I am living the American dream and I hate it.”

Today he continues to sell pizza. Not that that is not a glorious job or anything (I like pizza, someone has to sell it!), but he would be the first to tell you “that’s not what I was made for.” That’s not what God had in mind when He made him. That’s not the grandiose plan and purpose for which God created him.

This is not what he dreamed of doing all his life. It reminds me of a song that says, “This ain’t my American dream. I want to live and die for bigger things.”

If God has a greater plan for me than what I am doing now, then I want to hold fast to that. If there are people on the other side of the world or next door who will live in darkness unless I follow Christ in the path he treads for me and tell them about Him, then I will give the rest of my life to do that.

People used to ask me, “Cristina, what do you think you will do when you grow up? Will you be a missionary like your parents?” I used to say, “Well if I grow up and marry, I will do whatever my husband does.”

Now that I am “grown up” (I guess!) and after living in the USA for almost 2 years, I’ve come to the realization that my heart is with people of other countries. I could never live here for the rest of my life and be happy. I mean, how do you re-enter normal space after dancing with orphans and giving bags of rice to widows? How do you walk back into a Wal-Mart after seeing street kids with bloated stomachs begging for food? How can you ever go through the grocery store without picturing those Rwandese women carrying baskets of fruit or huge stalks of bananas on their heads? After my first trip overseas, I was 15 and went to England for a youth conference. I think it was that day that ruined me forever. Since then I have been to Spain, Switzerland, Holland, Austria, Germany, France, Italy, England, China, and Russia.

I remember standing in front of my clothes closet and thinking that I didn’t need half as many clothes as I had. I remember walking into a store and being overwhelmed with the abundance of items available compared to what you can purchase in Guatemala. The other part that’s difficult is trying to express to people back home what you’ve been through and how you’ve changed as a result of what you’ve seen. As I wax eloquent, telling stories about meeting persecuted widows, carrying orphaned babies who have hardly had contact with humans, or about seeing God move in people’s lives in such a real way, many of my friends can sometimes fail to grasp what I want to say. For them, life went on as normal here. For me, life was anything BUT normal. May God deliver us from comfort and ease, and grant us to continue to walk alongside the great men and women whom we have met there.

“Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves. When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrive safely because we have sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us, Lord.” - Francis Drake